Monday, December 31, 2007

Veev's New Year's Resolution

We have serious holiday traditions at our house. Like, don't mess with these traditions. Because they're beautiful. And poignant. And deeply meaningful.

Take, for example, our New Year's Eve tradition. Apparently, every year we buy a couple of Hot N' Ready $5.00 pizzas from Little Caesars. (Did I mention that our traditions are CLASSY, too?) Also, whichever child is in the toddler stage must spill their drink of root beer. It's tradition, after all. And Rhett must get annoyed, and growl, and said toddler must get their feelings hurt and cry in Mommy's arms for a good fifteen minutes. Then Rhett must apologize, and said toddler must then insist on having MORE soda pop. It's just tradition.

While we sit around chewing down our cheap pizza and root beer, I always try to pretend that there's some kind of Deep Meaning to New Year's Eve.

Here's this year's attempt:

Mom: So, lots of fun things have happened this last year. Let's see if we can list some of them.

If you listen carefully, between the loud chewing from the open mouths of both my four-year old and two-year old, you will literally hear our neighbor dogs HOWLING out of boredom.

Mom: Like we had a new baby this year!

Veevs: That didn't happen this year!

Mom: Yes, it did. Wristy's only nine-months old. Also, we had our grandparents come and visit us and Aunt Linz and Uncle Jordy and Aunt Bucky and Uncle John and the great-aunties, too. Wasn't this a fun year?

Veevs: That didn't happen this year! That happened a long time ago!

Mom: Honey, a year is a long time. A lot of things can happen in a year. So, now that we're starting a new year, what are some of the things you hope will happen? What are your goals?

More dogs HOWLING. More open-mouthed chewing.

Mom: Dad? What are some of your goals?

Dad swallows.

Dad: Um. I want to get a new job.

Mom: Great. Dad has a goal to get a new job! Great goal, honey. Spe, what would you like to do?

Spe flashes Mom with a half-eaten mouthful of pizza.

Mom: Would you like to learn all your letters?

Spe: Yeah!

Mom: Great goal, Spe. We'll make sure you learn all your letters this year.

I'm figuring we can knock that baby out in January, as Spe only has seven more letters to go in the alphabet. Realistic expectations. I'm all about realistic expectations.

Mom: Veevs, what are your goals for this year?

Veevs: (in her nonchalant, "I'm so grown-up" voice) You know, Mom, I really just like to lay on the couch and watch TV all day. That's all I want to do this whole year.

That girl is all about realistic expectations.


champy said...

You should have bought her a box of Bon Bons for Christmas so she can have something to eat while reaching her goal.

I used to tell people that's what I was going to do when I got home from my mission when they asked: lay on the couch watching TV and eating Bon Bons.

Amy said...

she sounds like my kind of girl! only if she keeps that over the of her goals will be to lose weight from sitting on her duff for so long:)

love the new years traditions awesome!

utmomof5 said...

It is nice to "meet" you. Thanks for the comment on my blog. I love the stry of your toenail!! Ha Ha!!

She is my kind of girl, you know that is what stay at home moms do all day, she will just have to pick a few soap operas to watch and she will be set!=)


Sue said...

You are so hilarious! We don't even bother with New Year's Eve. The kids don't even know it's a holiday. We "celebrated" by going to bed at 10:00. Happy New Year to us!

We're so exciting, I know.

Jill said...

I think I just gave up my goals of losing weight, exercising, becoming more organized and not procrastinating.
I now want to lay on the couch and watch TV.
It just sounds easier.

Leisha said...

I love it when good writers can take the mundane and make it so humorous! So enjoyable.

We had hot-n-ready's and root bear for NYE lunch. Guess it's a spreading tradition. (Really, my tradition is just DON'T COOK)

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