Friday, August 1, 2008

The Sweetest Summer EVER!!!

I told Heidi that I would take over her blog writing duties whilst she was away with the children. She was worried that as her husband, I would drive her blog traffic into the ground. I told her that the only thing that would drive her blog traffic down was her being gone for 3 months…….wait, I mean 3 weeks (it just feels like 3 months).

At first I was excited to be sans wife and children because this meant that I’d be enjoying the following:

1. Partaking of energy drinks whenever I want to
2. Taking naps after work or whenever I want to
3. Watching reruns of The Fresh Price of Bel-air until 1 am or whenever I want to
4. Growing the sweetest red facial hair that anyone on the face of the earth has ever seen

I didn’t care that Heidi was headed to the “land of milk and honey” and to “Sin City” all in one go round. I didn’t care that she bought a sweet new dual-screen DVD player so that the little ones could enjoy epic Disney films and whimsical Frontyardigan hijinx all whilst relaxing in the air-conditioned comfort of a sweet Dodge Grand Caravan—yes, it even has alloy wheels. And I don’t care that while I’m flogging my guts out at work that she and the kids are splashing poolside and drinking bottled Kirkland water…… least I’m not bitter.

I’ve come to realize that like clockwork, every summer Heidi gets an itch that requires her to head home for rest, relaxation, and regeneration. It doesn’t matter that girl’s retreat was 2 months ago (or at least this is the standard answer that I get when I beg Heidi not to leave me high & dry). I believe that this sort of behavior stems from and is closely linked to Heidi’s genesis as a school teacher. Having the summer off of work must be pretty nice! Having the summer off of work AND spending it in vacation hotspots must be even nicer.

During these long unaccompanied, lonely and isolated summers, it’s nice to have others who feel my pain………thanks 1980s; thanks $1.48/gal gasoline; thanks chick overalls; thanks penny loafers; thanks bad bleach job; thanks Mack truck driver; thanks Bananarama; etc., etc., etc… below:


Carol said...

Rhett totally loving you keeping the blog alive.

I can only imagine how sweet the red facial hair really is!

heather of the EO said...

So. You're both funny, huh? You make an excellent blogging duo.

Now I have the theme song from the Fresh Prince in my head. Thank a lot.

Anonymous said...

Cute, we all need more husbands like you!

Sarah Anne said...

You are too funny.

I'm sure you know this though.
I loved the blog links.
Enjoy napping today.

Heidi said...

Oh, Rhett, it's worse than I thought.
Bananarama? Fresh Prince?

You start wearing those nasty jean overalls that you wore to my family reunion to embarrass me, and I might just come home early.

Don't pull them out. I said MIGHT!

Heidi said...

And dude, serious props on the alliteration.

That's my MAN!

Ginnie said...

So impressive Rhett. We miss you guys!

Jen said...

Way to represent, Rhett. I still miss your wife, though.

Beck said...

Growing the sweetest red facial hair that anyone on the face of the earth has ever seen

Ah, the bachelor beard. It sounds like you're enjoying your time alone...