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Sunday, August 31, 2008

At the Weight Watchers

You guys, I go to Weight Watchers. I join between each of my babies, and always miss my goal by a few pounds when I get pregnant again and get kicked out. It's one of the drawbacks of rabbit-style procreation.

Anyway, my friend Claire (who rocks her acerbic Scottish humor something fierce) wrote a post about her meetings (because apparently Weight Watchers is the one thing that can bridge the Atlantic Ocean), and whoa, her meetings are different than mine.

Hers are all like, "I ate this, and I ate this, and I ate this and I gained three pounds and loved every pound!" My people are all like, "I'm the BEST WEIGHT WATCHER EVER! I starved myself for five of the seven days this week and I lost twelve pounds!"

I always try to keep it real, but I get a lot of negative vibes for it. For example, my leader will be all, "You know, you can eat just one Oreo."

And I'll raise my hand (because I know how a classroom setting works) and say, "Uh, you know actually I can't. I can eat THE WHOLE BAG in one sitting. But just one? Not so much."

The other people around me always act horrified/shocked/disturbed by my ability to binge. For the record, I don't purge. That's what got me to WW in the first place.

But seriously? I look around and these same horrified/shocked/disturbed people are like 40 pounds heavier than I am. What, they got fat the "healthy" way? Their overweight condition was caused by an extreme love for apples and oranges? Please.

Let's all admit it. We can eat a whole package of Oreos in one sitting. Other things we can eat in one sitting? A dozen donuts. A whole tray of homemade chocolate chip cookies. A half bag of Doritos. And any size bag of any candy (except Mounds or Almond Joy--EW!).

Seriously, if you're at Weight Watchers, I just want some honesty. You binge. I binge. Let's not pretend we've got the self-control of Vicky Beckham. We're not eating edamame, right?

Now that's off my chest. And I'm off to eat some chocolate chips with peanut butter. Straight out of the peanut butter jar.

26 comments:

a Tonggu Momma said...

I seriously used to treat food as fuel. Now... two plus years into our adoption wait... I've changed my mind. I am an emotional eater. The Big Adoption Wait has now become The Big Adoption Weight. And yes, I seriously can eat an entire bag of Oreos in one sitting. Fortunately, my hips only look like I've eaten half a bag, but that will change soon enough if I don't get this more under control.

Beeswax said...

Sounds like weight watchers is way more fun than I imagined. Sounds a lot like book club, only you talk about the oreos instead of eat them.

Course, Scottish wieght Watchers sounds even better, cause they all would have the cool accents when they talk about the oreos. Does anyone ever binge on haggis, you think?

Oh, and I can eat all that stuff, plus the mounds and almond joy. Hey, it is chocolate.

MoziEsmé said...

Gotta admire honesty . . .

Claire said...

Hell, Beeswax... I could binge on Haggis. It's just too good to have a 'normal' size portion..

Scottish Weight Watchers definitely sounds like more fun.. I think WW tends to make more money over here cos every week we're lining up to get weighed, and every week folk are like "it was a buffet at the wedding.. I had to fill my plate". We're just upfront about being pigs and loving the binge. And we have a name for these food nazis that lose over 2lbs a week. 'Bitch'. And we don't celebrate their loss. We let down their tyres.

Heidi said...

Claire, that is precisely why I love you. You keep it real.

Queen Elizabeth said...

I am so with you.

Veronica MItchell said...

There's a reason Ben & Jerry's comes in pints.

Heather of the EO said...

Hey, people who came from my blog--see? What did I tell ya? Good stuff huh?
Another good one, lady. Another good one!

Andrea Hardman said...

Have you tried mixing up one of those 88 cent cake mix boxes and drinking it? All of it. yum. It feels good to get those things out in the open. Also, if you do that, you can eat all the cream cheese frosting that was supposed to go on the cake. These are some of the things I've learned at WW. Embrace the truth.

Gina said...

I'm the first to admit, when I make cookies the first dozen is in my mouth before the last dozen is out of the oven. And this isn't an occasional thing. It's weekly, unfortunately.

Jen said...

OK, loving this post even more. I have not gained too much weight with the pregnancy (about 25 lbs and my doc thinks at least five is recent water weight...), but I know what's coming after the birth, so I am seriously eating whatever I want without regard to fat or sugar (just salt)...and I am practically living on Hansen's sodas (not sugar free), justifying this by having a glass of water or two between sodas....I made Nick take me to the Melting Pot to have cheese (yes just cheese) for dinner the other night! Definitely binging!

Melanie J said...

Just found you from Heather at the EO. Good find!

And um, yeah....edamame. I totally eat it. I just do it by the pound and not the pod. Hence, my standing appointment with WW.

turtle said...

http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1710,130183-241195,00.html

I can eat the whole recipe of these no bake chocolate oatmeal cookies. Notice the whole stick of butter and 2 cups of sugar...

It doesn't help that they're no bake and take practically no time to make.

Carol said...

Uh-Oh you know she doesn't like when people call her Vicky. Clearly you'll be off the Christmads card list.

Too funny Heidi.

I am considering joining weight watchers for the entertainment value.

D said...

I am craving peanut butter with chocolate chips and no I am not pregnant. I almost got a costco sized bag of choco chips on Sat. But I decided the 56 oz XXL bag of M&Ms that I got to potty train Kaden would have to suffice. Of course now every time I use the potty I get a handful so that I can be a good example to my son. He isn't catching on to my wonderful example yet- Oh well guess I will have to eat the whole bg by myself. :)

Beck said...

If there was a Weight WAtchers in town, i would TOTALLY go.

Jami said...

A magnificent post!

We actually keep the chocolate chips in the safe at our house. No, I do not know the combo. Only my man of steel knows. And he only cracks the safe for legitimate cookie making experiences.

Weight Watchers is funny. Motivating, funny and too expensive if you're really fat. I've loved it each of the short times I've been a member.

Lisa said...

LOVE THIS POST! And most of the comments, except Gina's. Because I do that every other day. Bake and eat almost all of it myself, that is.

And I'm SO jealous of you all writing about eating chocolate chips! The chocolate chips that I import from the States (none in Poland--how tragic is that?) can ONLY be used in baked goods. But I bake so much that I actually buy maybe 10-12 100gram bars of chocolate to chop up and bake with. *sigh* Chocolate chiiiiiips. Oreeeeeooooooos! Don't take them for granted!

Yvonne said...

Fantastic post. I have no self-control. One is never enough. Now if I say, "I will not have any chocolate", I can do it, but give me one little piece and there is no stopping me.

Jessica G. said...

Having to admit to what I eat is what keeps me from joining. And my BFF is a counselor and would totally rat me out if I tried to hide the truth.

JustRandi said...

HA! I just joined WW yesterday! I had NO idea it was going to be so much fun.
Of course, I only joined the online version, so probably the computer doesn't really care as much about my 1 lb Symphony bar.

Amy K said...

I remember in college going to the grocery store with you & picking out junk food. I ate an entire bag of chili cheese fritos and a huge homemade ice cream milkshake full of oreos (which is still my favorite!) You had your own bag of the good stuff. I remember Matt - the physical trainer from "the guys house" was appalled! I loved it.

K and/or K said...

Hello! Found you by way of Heather of the EO. I go to WW (picture me signing that with my fingers like its a gang sign--word up). Lost a bunch of wieght and it changed my life--no lie!! I was tubba mctubster.
The meetings bug!!!!!!!!!! I guess they feel too much like school to me, something I've purged my life of forever. They down talk to me like I'm not cooking myself up some amazing food. Like I haven't seen the error of my former ways. Like there is a chance I could fall off that wagon at any moment. Whatevs. Now I weigh in once a month and leave. But their system works! I swear by every one of those gosh darn points! :-)

Jill said...

I think the first oreo in the package does something to a person's brain, so they don't realize that they are eating the whole package until it's all gone.
For me, this seems to be the case for most snack foods.

Did you know that if you eat something salty (potato chips, pretzels etc) with something sweet (ice cream, cookies, pudding........) that you can actually eat MORE because you don't get tired of the taste as fast.
There's my WW tip for the week.

Karin said...

I can't open bags of chips, candy, cookies, or anything without a lot of people around because I will eat all of them myself. I have NO self control when it comes to eating. Having 2 babies under 16 months doesn't help either. I keep saying I'm going to exercise and eat less. Well, I've gone running once and hated it and I continue to make some delicious dessert at least a few times a week and eat most all of it myself.

I love "got fat the healthy way"!! That is hilarious!

Karin

myimaginaryblog said...

Jill, you're actually right -- I heard (from a nutritional specialist, no less) that they actually do add appetite stimulants to Oreos. Along with a whole slew of other additives. And that is what makes them so wonderful and delicious.