Thursday, May 15, 2008

Rhett's Quirks

You know, I can't ever seem to write enough about how quirky my husband is. There's this one and this one and even this one for the brave of heart.

One of his best quirks: Taking the kids to Cabela's on a bi-weekly basis so that I can have a little alone time.

One of his most embarrassing (for me, anyway): His not-so-impressive first impressions.

Take, for example, the first time Rhett met my grandparents on my mother's side.

All was going well for the about the first fifteen minutes. Rhett had smiled, feigned interest in our pioneer heritage, listened to stories about World War II and generally kissed butt.

"Can I use your restroom?" he asked politely.

"Oh, sure." Grandpa Lee gestured down the hall. "First door on the left."

While he is gone, I smile, feign interest in our pioneer heritage, and listen to stories about World War II. I don't have to kiss butt, because they are my grandparents, and they are forced to love me, or at least to feign love for me.

"Uh, Grandpa?" Rhett comes back out, "Do you have a plunger I can borrow?"

Oh, Rhett. Your social skills are AWESOME!

If you think this one is a fluke, please consider the first time Rhett met my grandparents on my father's side.

I had told him about Dan and Hazel (my grandparents) and all about the various cousins whom he would be likely to meet, and all about the sweet myrtle that covered my grandpa's entire front lawn and which you had to stay out of or else he would grumble at you.

So, I walk into my grandparents' house, holding Rhett's hand (I suppose after the Grandpa Lee and Grandma Barbara episode, I was trying to make sure he didn't make a break for the bathroom), when Rhett suddenly drops my hand, bounds over to my great-aunt Isabelle, a woman whom I spent the majority of my childhood trying to avoid lip-kissing, and yells, "Grandma!" Then he embraces her enthusiastically while she feebly tries to push him off and explain that she's never even been married, much less become a grandma.

She's the kind of woman who thinks that this little stunt isn't that funny. But don't worry, years later, Rhett will finally win her over when after a car accident, he has to help her get on and off the toilet. She finally thinks he's a nice person after that.

He blames me for that one, although how I could have predicted that he would seize upon any hapless senior citizen who came his way, and start calling them GRANDMA!, I will never know.

His social skills. They are awesome.


Carol said...

Blimey, I love Rhett. I could devote my entire life to watching him interact with others and feel completely and totally satisfied. He totally loves to push the old social boundaries, which is not only highly hilarious but also ultra endearing!

Matt, Karin, and Sienna said...

I think Rhett is great. I love talking to him on Sundays. What funny first impressions.


bill, katie, and co. said...

Oh! It's so good to be back reading your blog on a regular basis! I have missed it! If you don't make me laugh (because I haven't had the time to check in) then you make one of my many friends laugh who also check your blog on a regular basis. I'm so proud to know you! :)

Tiger Lamb Girl said...

It's the opposite situation with me and my husband. He's the one who's all polished and always knows the right thing to say.....


But I make him laugh.


Anonymous said...

That "stinks" for Rhett

Amy said...

I always love your posts about Rhett...he is a hoot!

Kiera said...

That is funny!! I would have laughed my head off if James did something like that!!

Leisha said...

And he looks so NORMAL out in public!? LOL. I love your grandparent/Rhett reminds me of meeting Jared's grandpa (the almost-millionaire who lived in a shack and used the yellow pages as toilet paper...not flushed mind you, stacked in the trash can next to the commode...yummy!)

Celia and Scott said...

Oh the hilarity of Rhett and Great Aunt Isabelle in the same room -- I wasn't there for much of that but when I was ... pure awesomeness. I remember those unavoidable lip kisses. I thought I was well passed those after I got married. Alas, I was not. On that fateful day, I saw her comin' at me and I realized that the initial decent into the kiss was way too short to make any destination adjustments so I just sat there in an ever-so-slow motion agony ... for ... the ... love .. TURN! With that shaky face and bright lips comin' at me ... I was a deer in the headlights with nowhere to go.

p.s. Was that "accident" the one that happened the day of my homecoming?

Heidi said...

Oh, yes, it was Cels. I distinctly remember Afton being more concerned about her earrings not being stolen by the paramedics than anything else.

Even in tragedy, they were pure comedy.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. Don't you love that you have such great stories to tell for years to come!?!?!

AMY said...

My kids love Cabella's with dad too. I haven't even been yet!