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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Nightmare

You know, as a general rule, I try not to share my dreams with people. Not like dreams as in ambitions, but dreams as in nighttime fantasy-crap. Because let's be honest, they're usually only interesting to the person who dreams the dream.

And you just end up trapping people into listening and their eyes start glazing over and then they start going, "Uh-huh," "Uh-huh," "Uh-huh," over and over as a signal that they are really bored with this totally fictitious story about how you gave birth to an illegitimate baby that you must have been impregnated with by the toilet seat, because in your dream you couldn't remember who the father could possibly be . . . blah, blah, blah.

But last night my worst phobia made its appearance in my dreams. I dreamed that we had a little crocodile infestation problem in our house. They were everywhere. In my kids' cribs (Yeah, cribs is plural on purpose. Do you have a problem with me having two kids eighteen months apart?), under beds, in showers, in my closet, in our swimming pool (because in dream world apparently we have a swimming pool), in my bed, on the stairs. Seriously. EVERYWHERE.

In my dream I kept screaming at people, "I NEED HELP!" and they would be all nonchalant about it, like, "Oh, we have some crocodiles at our house, too. Don't worry." And then I would have to go wrestle a crocodile to get my baby out of its jaws.

And then, somewhere in the middle the crocodiles all turned into GHARIALS! You don't know what that is, do you? Here, I will sacrifice my sanity to show you a picture (trust me, it made me a little sick just to find this for you):


Seriously, I woke up shaking. And sobbing. I woke Rhett up. And then I kept Rhett awake for a good half hour pawing at him. Because those gharials are even scarier looking than crocodiles, don't you think?

12 comments:

jennie w. said...

So what do these Gharials represent in your life? Something bad that nobody but you seems to care/notice?

Veronica Mitchell said...

My scary dreams usually feature my husband's total lack of concern. Once I dreamed that a bear was chewing on my neck, and when I cried for help, my husband sighed and said, "It's just a bear, Veronica. It will leave when it's done."

Heidi said...

Jennie--Hmmm. Good question. It couldn't be my housekeeping or anything. . .

Andrea Hardman said...

I'm officially leaving a comment here on a blog I read all the time. How you doing, Heidi? It was cool to meet you this week. I hate dreams like that but my worst dreams are the ones where I need to get somewhere but no one cares so I have to wait and wait and then find something and then go do something else and I never get where I'm going. And then I wake up and realize that I just replayed my real day. Sigh.

Carol said...

I used to have that pregnancy dream all the time when I was single and used to get so stressed out because obviously nobody was gonna believe it was immaculate conception. Was always such a relief to wake up!!!

Clearly now when I dream about pregnancy it is still a nightmare but for totally different reasons.

Hey at least your kids aren't in the same school year! Which is what you mockingly said to me for having mine 16 months apart. 18 mnoths isn't so different eh?

Jen said...

Have you seen the movie Spiritual Crocodiles? I had croco-night-mares after that one. What are they thinking showing that movie to poor innocent teenage seminary students? I think you have clearly been scarred by this behavior.

a.men said...

I agree with Jennie W. They must represent something that only you care about and no one else. I hate bad dreams. I always find myself running away from someone who will hurt me! Scary!

ajhcreative said...

I found myself cracking up while reading this, sorry to laugh at your expense. But I understand how scared you would be and you do such a good job at putting an entertaining twist on it! At least your sweet hubby was there to make you feel better until the images started to fade.
I say it represents stress, I always have nightmares when I am stressed.

Bob said...

What you need to do is immerse yourself into some Clint Eastwood movies! They can be his cowboy ones or his Dirty Harry ones. I'm sure once you have that in the back of your mind the next time any animal or scary something or another shows up in your dreams you'll draw your guns and ask them to "Make your day" as you proceed to riddle them full of lead! It works every time.

monkie mama said...

Heidi, I'm so sorry for your distress and awful freight. Now, having said that, you're going to have to add me to the list of those who think this is hilarious! I'm glad you're so brave as to wrestle your little Wristy from the gaping jaws of evil! You truly are Super Mom!!

As for the crib thing ~ Tee, hee! Do we have some personal issues here? Defensive much? Personally I'd keep my kids in cribs for eternity! I'd never let them learn how to climb out either. I'm all for independence and growth, but not when it disrupts my precious sleep!

P.s. Gharials are truly creepy!

Sibri said...

Heid, seriously book some therapy :) You really need to take action to overcome this fear!

F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

Debbie Freeman said...

HAHAHAHA!!! Love it! Thanks for giving me a good laugh. That dream was very entertaining, sorry it was at your expense. Don't hesitate to share in the future. Something tells me that you could write a book on your dreams (at least the bad ones.)