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Sunday, November 2, 2008

A New Low (Who Knew We Could Go Lower?)

You know, I've never claimed to be a good cook. In fact, I'm really kind of proud of being a dismal cook. If you ever come to eat at my house, the meat will be undercooked, the vegetables overcooked and dessert? What, you think you're Queen Elizabeth or something? A meal isn't enough for you?

Okay, maybe I'm not quite that bad. But I don't really love to cook, and when you don't love something it just kind of follows that you're not ever going to reach the pinnacle of glory in that area. And you know me, I just love the pinnacle of glory.

But honestly, I think we hit a new low this morning when I came downstairs to discover that my husband's idea of a healthy breakfast for our kids is a banana and Doritos (stale). And whilst it's true that my breakfast was a sugar cookie (heavy on the frosting and candy corn decorations), I generally strive for something more substantive for my children.

"Really, Rhett?" I asked. "Doritos for breakfast?"

"Oh, come on, Heidi," he said with not even an ounce of shame, "it's the day after Halloween."

I almost didn't have the heart to tell him it was actually the day after the day after Halloween. Why kick a man who's clearly already at rock bottom, nutritionally speaking? So instead, I hucked a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup his way, courtesy of the kids' trick or treating bags.

It's almost like I served him breakfast in bed.

13 comments:

julie said...

I'll take a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup for breakfast . . . or lunch . . . or dinner. Hey, you gotta give Rhett credit, though - a banana is pretty healthy!

jennie w. said...

A banana makes anything nutritious!

PS Doing roll call this week on food storage. Haven't seen you lately. You can come back. We're very forgiving.

Melanie J said...

Maybe he invented a new delicacy, like deep fried twinkies or Krispy Kreme hamburgers: Dorito crusted bananas. I bet if you fried them in mayonnaise or something, you'd be the toast of trailer parks everywhere!

Maike said...

Hey, at least your husband threw in a banana. My hubby just gave them their candy bags for breakfast and let them have at it...

Carol said...

Breakfast at your house sounds awesome.

Though I'd pass on the stale dorito's.

Cathy said...

I love it! Someone after my own heart!

Queen Elizabeth said...

Thanks for the compliment (I think?) ... but rest assured that breakfast around here is V-E-R-Y similar to yours. Peanut butter cups? They = dairy (chocolate) and protein (peanut butter) in my book.
I love preparing breakfast.... for DINNER!!! (And, DARNIT, my kids aren't big cereal eaters which KILLS me!!!)

Heather of the EO said...

Great. Now I want Doritos.

If I threw candy at my husband any time of the day, he'd yell, "NOW you're speakin' my love language!"

Jen said...

You rock.

Claire said...

At least he offered them some kind of sustinence. And what's not to love about doritos and bananas?

steph and brent said...

Gourmet cooking is overrated. I love the freezer section.

AMY said...

Better than nothing right? I'm not a very good cook either (don't love it), but David doesn't cook...at all.

Jillybean said...

You still had peanut butter cups left two days after Halloween??
What's wrong with you people?

My three year old ate Doritos for dinner on Friday.