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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Best Thing About This Card

We went to my parents' house in Vegas for Christmas, which was fabulous, as I think I've mentioned. Because, you know, I could neglect my kids without actually endangering them. Sweet freedom.

A few days after Christmas, my dad brought in a Christmas card that he'd just pulled out of the mail. It's one that we wait for every year, because this family really takes their Christmas cards seriously. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. There are six kids in the family, with an overachiever set of parents, and so the whole card is all about how awesome their two-year-old is for learning to read, and how studly their fourteen-year-old is because he plays three! sports! and he's great! at all of them! Also, their twelve-year-old has been asked to join their city's professional ballet corps. Every child has an amazing accomplishment, and don't get me started on the parents. Mom has written a book this past year, started a doctoral degree, teaches at the university, and has nurtured her children waaaaaay better than you and I. Plus, all of this was presented in verse. Seriously, awesome.

My dad, after reading it and passing it around for all of our enjoyment (see, now you know where I get this mean streak from) raised one eyebrow and said, "You know what the best thing about this card is?"

"The awful rhymed verse?" I guessed.

"Nope." He grinned. "The best thing about this card is that it got here four days late."

Sometimes my dad just puts everything in perspective.

15 comments:

Cathy said...

I love it! I guess we all know a family like that!

amelia said...

I think your dad needs to guest post.

Heather of the EO said...

HIlarious. Yes, I know this family too. I mean the same type of course, not the exact same family-that would be freaky. Anyway, I'm pretty sure they make half that crap up. It's disgusting.

:)

Jen said...

We received one that was post-marked Jan 8th. It was a Christmas Miracle. I'd like to send them out in January every year.

Kim said...

So funny AND so true.

Andrea Hardman said...

I have a cousin and I look forward to her card every year. Why? To see if she got fatter than me, of course. Why else?

D said...

LOL! I love those letters!

Claire said...

Hahaha. I think it may be dangerous if our families were ever to meet. There would be no mercy for anybody. Mocking would abound. Nobody would be safe. It would be fun. Let's organise it. I'll put together a list of people we can ridicule.

Jessica G. said...

Your dad is awesome. As much as a love those newsletters, what am I supposed to say when my kids' biggest accomplishment is learning how to not be so obvious about picking their nose in public?

julie said...

Hey - there's nothing wrong with late Christmas cards . . . I'm pretty sure mine was late, wasn't it?

Edith said...

Oh I so know these letters! Here in the UK we call them "round robins". (Do you?) I have a college friend who sends the most nauseating one each year about how wonderful his life is, about his wonderful wife, their matching sports cars (you need to take both to do the supermarket shopping as one wouldn't take all the groceries... - why is it necessary to put that on a Christmas letter please?), their wonderful ministry at church etc. Quite honestly, you would vomit.

Anonymous said...

I say trash the card the minute you see who it's from.

AMY said...

Notice I didn't even send a letter this year, just a picture. No amazing accomplishments here, except I'm still alive and my kids are too.

Carol said...

Wow I even got your Christmas card before that all the way on another continent.

Clearly all that perfection is time consuming.

Oh I love Carl. I wish I had stolen all your families mission letters to you just to read over and over the endless wit and sarcasm.

carl b smith and marilyn said...

Carol, Me Sarcastic? Bah! Carl