Monday, July 14, 2008

A Few Ways in Which Pamela Anderson Lee and I are Soulmates

You know, at first glance, you wouldn't think I have anything in common with Pamela Anderson Lee. (Actually, she dropped the Lee and is now going by Pamela Anderson again. So confusing!) Like I don't have breast implants, and I'll bet the world she's never made bread. (Yes, I make bread, but I'm kind of crap at it, so it's a tender subject.) But if you read up on Pammy, it's like finding my soul sister. Sort of.

First, Pammy and I both share Scandinavian ancestry! She's Finnish! I'm Danish! I bet we'd have a lot to talk about.

Second, Pammy and I both are naturally brunettes. For some reason, Pammy hasn't embraced her inner dark side, but I think there's still a bond there.

Third, Pammy teaches at her sons' Sunday school (HONEST! I'm thinking maybe she has a loose interpretation of "teaching" like maybe dropping them off counts as teaching, I don't know!), and I teach the singing for the kids in my church. We know what it's like to bring religion to the masses.

Fourth, Pammy has had an up and down relationship with her breasts, choosing to get breast implants, then getting them removed, then getting bigger ones, and so on and so forth. I kind of think nursing has been like a breast reduction for me. At the very least, it's given me an up and down relationship with my breasts, emphasis on down, directionally speaking.

Fifth, Pammy contracted Hepatitis C by sharing a tattoo needle with her then-husband, Tommy Lee. Um . . . yeah. I'm not going to lie. I don't have a tattoo. And I don't have Hepatitis C. And I've never been married to Tommy Lee. And I've never posed for Playboy, and I've never starred in Baywatch. And maybe Pammy and I aren't really soul sisters.

And maybe I should stop calling her Pammy.


Jordan & Lindsey Ohlson said...

Also she is a huge activist for PETA (according to practically my newspaper)... she is currently fighting against KFC to protect the chicken... save Superman!

Melissa Bastow said...

Loved the part about the up and down breast relationship.....I totally get it.

Yvonne said...

Oh, gosh, that is too funny. How in the world do you come up with this stuff--love it ; )

JustRandi said...

You know, I totally see it! I think you're on to something!

Beck said...

Pamela and I are both Canadian. And we're both chesty. And there it ends.

Carol said...

Well after reading that I have come to the realisation that I have as much in common with Pammy as you, minus the boobs altogether.

She teaches Sunday school? That is a class I would LOVE to attend.

The Rookie said...

You just make me laugh.