Saturday, October 4, 2008


Yesterday, Rhett got me a massage, which I always love.

When I walked in, to my surprise I was booked with a man masseuse. But I'm no prude, so I didn't really care that much. He was asking me about my chronic headaches and all that stuff, like I was ready to embark on a weekly regime of massage to cure my headaches. Me? Totally ready. My pocketbook? Not so much.

Then he says, "So would you like your buttocks massaged?"

I look surprised. Of course I want my buttocks massaged. (Is this too much information? I sometimes have a problem distinguishing. Oh, dear, it probably is.) But seriously, how can it be a full-body massage without buttocks-massaging?

I say, "Yes, I do. Why do you ask? Are there people who don't?"

He says, "Well, some people just really freak out when you touch their buttocks."

I laugh a little and say, "Hey, I have a male OB/GYN. I think there are more invasive problems to worry about, don't you?"

And then I went on to have a very lovely buttocks massage.

Did I say buttocks too many times in this post? There's just something endearing about that word, don't you think?


Heather of the EO said...

buttocks. Sounds like an animal.

I love it that you had this conversation with him because of your curiosity about his question. WHY wouldn't I??? Hilarious.

I know a lot of people who thinks it's CRAZY to have a stranger rub their BUTTOCKS. They request to skip that part at massages.

I usually don't care because I'm too tired to think about whether or not it's weird...

Claire said...

I'd have asked him to concentrate solely on my buttocks...

Carol said...

Totally made me laugh and also cringe a little bit.

Would you like your buttocks massaged? Yep because they're an area of stress and fatigue.

shauna said...

oh my goodness, that was hilarious! Say it like it is baby.

Melanie J said...

Is it even possible to say BUTTOCKS too many times in a post? Buttocks. Buttocks. Buttocks.

K and/or K said...

I think if I had a massage they would ask if I want my "ba-donk-a-donk" massaged.

The Rookie said...

"So would you like your buttocks massaged?" just makes me giggle.

JustRandi said...

I'm no massage expert, but I've never had my buttocks massaged, nor have I ever been asked about it.
I had no idea it was even an option.

I'll keep it in mind next time I go.

"Um, could you please massage my buttocks?"

Bwaahaha I could never do it with a straight face.

steph and brent said...

On the note of buttocks rubs, do you remember how they held "career days" in school, and local business people would speak to the students about their career? In 9th grade I went to the massage therapy class, and I volunteered for a massage. While one masseuse talked about their job, another rubbed my back. Then the masseuse got to my buttocks, and after a few moments announced to the class, "Did you know that your left cheek is tenser thank your right?" ... mortified.

Motherboard said...

{{said with a weird accent}}

That is a great word. I've never gotten my buttocks massaged before... who knew I could?? Know that I do, I will specifically ask for the bum rub.

Tausha said...

you crack me up! i laughed out loud the more I read-I had to stop reading-it is so not good on the flippin pounding going on in my head! (did I read that you have chronic headaches?-if it's true-what do you do for relief?)
I am with you on the butt masage-in fact when my masseuse comes to my house-ohyea, be jealous! she rubs the heck out of my butt and it hurts. She thinks it's funny-I love her so much-she helps me so much, so I guess a little bit of painful buttock massaging is a good thing! (so-was it fantastic-the buttock massage or did it feel like someone was punching you)
I am not a freak-hope I am not telling too much info on the first post.
I hope that you don't think I am too crazy to stop by and say hello!

turtle said...

I'd love to have a buttocks massage.


The trials of being a poor college buttocks groping for me.

Thing 1 said...

Hahahahaha! You RocK!!! p.s. You've won an AWARD!! on my blog. Come and get it! :)

p.p.s Buttocks.Buttocks.Buttocks... Thats such a fun word! I think a word even more fun than that would have to be Bummskins tho. :) I don't think i would be very comfortable letting some dude rub my Bummskins, but hey its all mind over matter. If u don't mind, it don't matter!

Well i guess i'd better leave before i add anymore p's and s's :)

David & Amanda said...

BUTTOCKS...There I said it again for you! Hah... I love the boldness, you go girl.

Bisel Family said...

I'm loving you. And envying your massage.

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