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Saturday, December 13, 2008

Just Testing

Every so often, Rhett will say something like this, "Hey did you notice that the trash can in the bathroom has been overflowing for the last week?"

And I'll look up from the book that I'm reading and be like, "Uh, yeah. Don't worry about it." Because, quite frankly, emptying the trash can has historically been his job.

"No, no, no," he'll say, "I left it on purpose to test how long it would take before you would take it out yourself."

"Oh." I'll think for a minute. "You know that the pile could spill out of the bathroom door and I'd still be okay with that, right?"

He sighs. This is not what he wanted to hear. I'm not sure what exactly he wants to hear-- perhaps profuse apologies? Sometimes I get mad at him for his condescending "I'm testing you because I'm so much better than you are" approach to cleaning the house, but most of the time I'm just a little confused as to why he thinks this time I'll cave before the garbage spills out of the can. There's no historical precedence to suggest that will ever happen. But yet, he still tests me.

So the other day I took Jakers to the doctor's and put Rhett in charge of picking up the kindergarten carpool.

After the appointment, I pulled up to our house about five minutes before 11:00. Rhett's car was still in the driveway. Meaning, undoubtedly, that he had forgotten the kids.

So did I call his cell phone and say, "I'll just pick them up for you, honey."? Hell, no. (Did you know that I swear occasionally? My apologies if you are shocked, except I'm not one bit sorry because I get a lot of pleasure out of my occasional swear words.)

Instead, I turned around and went and picked up the kids myself. And when I went to drop off the little boy who lives just down the street from us and saw Rhett driving like a bat out of hell down the street, I half-heartedly tried to wave him down. Because, I was kind of laughing too hard to wave very vigorously.

My friend was like, "Oh, you're going to be in trouble!"

And I was like, "Oh, no, I'm not! I'm not the one who forgot our child today. I'm the responsible party here."

When Rhett walked through the door (thirty minutes later) all wild-eyed and crazy, I just laughed.

It was the best test ever.

10 comments:

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

Did you just say wild eyed? I forgot how funny that phrase, even all by itself, can really be. But thrown into the rest of your blog post? Awesome.

jennie w. said...

brilliance.

Heather of the EO said...

Pure evil. I totally would have done the same thing.

Claire said...

Hahaha... I feel for Rhett, cos I test Robie like that AAALLL the time. And he always fails. Cos he can never be as good as me in all my household chores. Which is not something I should be celebrating.. frankly, I'm quite annoyed.

Though naughty Rhett... he shouldn't have forgotten the kids. Maybe he was distracted by a good bit of daytime tv such as Oprah? In which case - he's forgiven.

Carol said...

Is it bad that I am so thrilled to hear you still occasionally swearing? Brings me endless joy.

Tut tut Rhett!

Melanie J said...

Yeah. I forget my son A LOT. But I always remember in time to call my husband and ask HIM to go get the kid, so whatevs. I'm going to count it as not forgetting.

Bisel Family said...

Perfect!

This Place is a Disaster! said...

You Rock!!!!

As for the garbage cans - ditto in my house. THen there's my favorite line I constantly say, "No, No, You make the mess, I'll clean it up!" Yeh, "Thanks for getting the kids breakfast and leaving everything out as though the countertop is refrigerated!"

Amy K said...

That is so mean! But too funny. He probably aged about 5 years in those 30 minutes. And I am glad to hear you still occasionally swear - the effect still works.

Anonymous said...

Heidi,
A hell and a damn once in awhile doesn't hurt anybody. If Dan gave me little tests like that I would be mad as hell!