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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Try Waking Your Spouse Up This Way

Every summer, my mom would pack all eight of us in the Suburban and drive us to Utah to visit her family. The drive was about six or seven hours, and we generally covered all the luggage with sleeping bags and slept for at least four hours.

Except for when we didn't and then we fought like feral cats.

One time my little sister Lindsey was asleep and everyone else was awake. So my brother Josh started stroking her face gently with his fingertips.

In a falsetto voice, he said, "Child. Sweet, prophetic child. You're in heaven now."

Because his goal here was to convince her that she had died and gone to heaven.

"Shut up, Josh!"

Apparently, she wasn't convinced.

Either that, or she thought Jesus wouldn't mind that kind of talk in heaven.

11 comments:

Jen said...

Nice to see you back. Hope you are well rested :). Have you heard about our FIFTEEN YEAR REUNION?? Damn, we're old.

joolee said...

Glad you're back. Your blog always makes me smile.........sweet prophetic child:)

Karen said...

I remember going on "Sunday drives" with my family and my brothers and sister and I fighting in the back seat. Finally my mother would make us sit on our hands so we'd stop touching each other. It didn't help...we just jabbed each other with our elbows.

Jen said...

Oh how I've missed you during the barren wasteland of your absence.

Andrea Hardman said...

Welcome back. Love to see you up there on my blog roll!

amelia said...

Welcome back! It's been too long. And I may have to try this one...

The Rookie said...

Hurray! You're back! I've missed the guarantee of laughing whilst exploring the blogosphere.

Cathy said...

Good to have you back, you have great sarcasm!

Celia and Scott said...

Okay, that was hilarious. I can just picture all of you laying on top of all your crap (I mean, really good stuff) in the big red Suburban.

I think if I believed in reincarnation I would wish to come back as a fly, invent a time machine, travel back in time, and live on the walls of the home (or in this case Big Red) of the Smiths. I think I would have had a pretty good time. Between "prophetic child" and awesome, over-used phrases like "to the max," I think I would have been genuinely entertained.

Man, wasn't childhood awesome? You and I both know I could post a few crazy stories about my family but ... I better not.

susette said...

I'm coming over from Mormon Mommy Blogs, asking for your help. I am in the running for a round trip airfare paid ticket to Connecticut, to meet a friend I became acquainted with through blogging. She is a super fun person and is holding this contest. I entered a funny story titled "Grapejuice Floaties, Now Marry Me." The person whose story receives the most votes will win a trip to meet this generous lady, whom I'm hoping to meet. The voting ends tonight-midnight. I used to be ahead but there is a story coming up from behind out of nowhere, and it's a tight race now. I would so much appreciate your help. Her blog is www.becausemomsaidso.blogspot.com and the voting is on the sidebar on the right. "Grapejuice, Floaties" Just go there and cast a vote for me, please. Thanks so much-you're awesome! ♥♥

Claire said...

I'm so glad you're back. Though your 'let's pretend I'm a quaddie' story got me through your absence.

i like Josh and his twisted sense of humour.

And how come nowadays we just can't lie about in the back of cars anymore? I mean, we never had a serious car accident when we were packed in to the boot of the car... fair enough it was an estate car, but we were still in boot, people!