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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Why Rhett Can't Win

Rhett has it bad these days.

I am not a suffer-in-silence kind of person. (You knew this already, yes?) I am really a complain--moan-whine-and-then-blame-it-on-the-person-who-donated-half-the-genetic-material kind of person. Because it just seems so UNFAIR that he feels nothing (except for my wrath, of course) for nine months whilst I deal with nausea, sharp, stabbing abdominal pain and exhaustion. And then he kind of wants to hold the baby at the end of my misery. Mitts off, little man, you did NOTHING!

Anyway, some days Rhett just ignores me (this makes me more crazy). Other days he tries to sympathize without actually having idea what I'm going through (my male OB/GYN makes this same mistake, and it's not just annoying--it's condescending).

A few days ago I said something like this: "I hate being pregnant! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!" Because I've told you I'm trying to be more positive about life these days, right? I know this kind of attitude is really annoying to people who can't get pregnant, and I'm so sorry. But I'm still allowed to feel how I feel, and what I feel right now is miserable.

He responded, "You know, maybe if you want more kids after this, we should think about adoption."

What he meant for me to hear from this was that he loves me so much that he doesn't want me to have to suffer through pregnancy anymore.

What I heard, of course, was that I'm such a miserable human being when I'm pregnant that there is no way in HELL he is going to endure this one more time.

And then he said, "And then maybe we could adopt a little Hispanic baby because they have such beautiful black hair and are so cute."

And then I said, "What, because the babies I make aren't cute enough for you?"

Poor Rhett. He just can't win.

22 comments:

Rachel said...

Lane said the exact same thing to me during this pregnancy (about adopting). Apparently this is supposed to be a soothing reponse. I took it pretty much how you did. And, from one stranger to the other, congratulations on the pregnancy.

Beeswax said...

I have also had this same conversation. Even more annoying is when I say, maybe it is time for another?, and he says, if we'd put in the paperwork back when I brought it up the first time, we'd be off to china to pick up our little girl!

It makes me want to kick his arse to China.

Sorry you are so sick. I know how you feel. I barf 10 times a day for 16 weeks, and still my butt manages to grow huge.

Cynthia said...

Pregnant women should always win in every conversation, controversy, fight, and conflict. It's only fair, right?

Anonymous said...

Poor Rhett.

Jillybean said...

He should just learn how to read your mind.

Tell him that if he really loves you, he will do that.

I hope you get feeling better, I always felt better when I got to 13 weeks, except with my #4 and then I was sick until about 30 weeks.
You probably didn't want to hear that.

Charlie said...

I actuallu thought the whole adoption thing was quite sensitive... but then, what do I know? I'm a man! Congratulations!

AMY said...

Congrats on the new pregancy. I was guessing you hadn't blogged the past few months because you were pregnant. You are brave. I can't talk my self into being so sick again, not yet! Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Rhett. This to shall pass.

Claire said...

Yah - so i read this post and then commented in your previous post...

Rhett. Come and stay here for the duration of Heidi's pregnancy. Come and play golf. Keep the hell away from Heidi. It's what you both want.

Jen said...

And don't forget, "and YOU did this to me in the first place!"

Well, as bad as it gets for poor Rhett, he can still count himself lucky because the pregnancy will pass and he'll still be married to wonderful you.

Heather of the EO said...

I'm really pleasant when I'm pregnant.

PFFFFT!!!!!

If you have to MAKE A PERSON IN YOUR BODY...he can handle the snarkiness. :)

Jen said...

Congrats! You Have to have baby #5 so you can have your own Jackson 5!

Shawn said...

I always hated being preggy also----I HEAR YOU!!

Cathy said...

Men just don't get it!

Adrienne said...

Congrats!! Too bad you feel crappy. I hope that you can enjoy the 2nd trimester a bit more. Well, enjoy is a poor choice of words, I hope you can feel a tiny bit better so you can make it through the third one :) When are you due?

Dave said...

have you been listening to the conversations at my house?

because i'm pretty sure you just changed nat to heidi and dave to rhett, and stole our story :-)

Janene said...

Heidi--I know how you feel. I really do. I hate being pregnant--really hate it. It makes me nauseous just reading your post about being pregnant. We are excited for you though, and I think you make the most darling non-Hispanic looking kids around!

Anonymous said...

It's all in your head, get over it.

Jen said...

Okay, Hadley. It's time to suck it up and hit the second trimester so you can blog again.

Sue said...

Who the heck is the annom. idiot who said it's all in your head! Freak! Has to be a male. When I barfed my way through 9 months of baby #1 a jerk at work told me it was all in my head. His wife had no children yet. I told him that while I don't have anything against his wife having never met her, I hope she's WAY SICKER than I am when she gets pregnant. And my curse came true. The jerk guy actually apologized to me.
So good luck honey, you'll make it through this.

Heidi said...

Sue, you are making me laugh. While I'm not sure who the anom. idiot was my guesses are a) my husband, or b) my brother, both of whom would have been being jerks on purpose.

But yes, it's a very insensitive thing to say, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Once I learned to control the pain in my head I felt like I overcame the world. I know it is a hard place to reach for, but you can do it.

http://pregnancyandbaby.sheknows.com/pregnancy/Detailed/10-remedies-for-pregnancy-nausea-4421.htm

This link will help. You can thank me anonymously.