Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Giving the Business

"Giving someone the business" is one of my favorite phrases. I actually never use it because it's not really one of my favorite phrases, but in the past 24 hours it has caught my fancy, probably because so much business has been given out over here, how could I not suddenly love it?

A recap of business-giving:

Rhett gave me the business because I had not found my cell phone charger from our trip and I didn't pull my laptop out because it was in my laptop bag (this makes perfect sense when you know how lazy I felt yesterday), so I was basically incommunicado. I sat thinking for a few minutes about how this could possibly be Rhett's fault (I am very good at this game, you know), and discarded several possibilities that even I felt were far-fetched ("You were, you know, the one who canceled the home phone over a year ago" and "If you need to talk to me every minute of every day, perhaps you are too attached?"). I finally owned responsibility and apologized, but only as a last resort.

I gave Spe the business because yesterday I specifically told him to go and hang his backpack up on the hook where it goes in the closet where it goes and make sure, sweet son, that you put it, you know, WHERE IT GOES. Of course, this morning there was a mad hunt for a missing backpack which was eventually found in the toy room, which I'm pretty sure is NOT where it goes. The business was given, and then all was forgiven. Until tomorrow's mad hunt.

Baby Logan, who is now a one-year old, gave me the business because I wiped his nose for the fourth time this morning. Apparently, four is the breaking point. I'm trembling because he really needs another nose wipe, but if the business is given at four, how will he escalate at five? Hopefully after a nap we can start the tally over.

I am giving myself the business because I am SO tired, and yet there is a whole room full of things to unpack and toys to find homes for (post-Christmas organization). And THEN I need to start working on getting ready to move. Although Rhett's company is technically moving us, my part of the deal is full of hard work like signing my name to lots of documents! And initialing! Deciding what we need for the next three months! Like clothes! And toys!

I just discovered I must go give a nameless one-year old the business for pulling all the toilet roll off the roll, and a nameless three-year old who just told that same one-year old to "Get your butt out of here!" I'm so busy! Don't feel bad for me!


Janeal said...

I always thought "giving someone the business" had a different meaning...

But you know me and my dirty mind.

Heidi said...

Oh, Janeal. That just made me laugh and laugh and laugh. I love you.

Claire said...

Janeal is right...

I was disappointed it meant something else in your world ;)

Heidi said...

Y'all are dirty. It means to cause trouble. Even urban dictionary agrees with me.

Somehow, though, I'm not surprised that the two dirtiest people I know (no offense, right?) think otherwise.