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Friday, March 28, 2008

Shoot Me Up

You know how when your baby is born and you first hold her and she's beautiful and she's asleep and she looks so peaceful and quiet and calm and perfect that you think to yourself, I will never, never, never get mad at this child because I have such perfect love for her and I will never lose sight of the fact that she is the most precious thing I have ever created in my life and I won't be like all of those other mothers at Wal-Mart who yell at their kids and grab their arms and stuff because this love that I have for this baby is immense and I will always parent with love and logic and I will be the ideal mother and I will never, never, never get angry because how could I get angry with this beautiful, sleeping angel?

You remember that feeling, right?

Seriously, could someone find a way to bottle that? And then put it in an epi pen-like deal so that I can just shoot myself up with it?

Like maybe when I'm looking at my children and one of them has painted himself and the wall with permanent markers and the other one is screaming and the other one is yelling at the naughty one and the principles of love and logic have somehow morphed into screaming and shrieking, and I'm pretty sure that I will be going to mother hell based on how inexplicably angry I feel--far more angry than the situation actually calls for and I have to just walk away because I cannot look at my children any more because I know that if I stay there one moment longer I will succumb to the almost overwhelming desire to grab their cheeks and squish their faces together as hard as I can.

I'd really like to remember how much I love them at moments like that.


Wow. That's a real inspiring post, ain't it? Also, just a disclaimer--I don't actually feel this way today. I actually am quite cheerful and happy right now. But I still would like that epi-pen thing. Just for the future.

17 comments:

Sara said...

epi-pen...me too! wonderful.

Carol said...

Love, at least you'll have company in Mother hell, I will for sure be here!

Yvonne said...

Oh to be able to mother with love and logic ; )

D said...

Oh yes I need one of those pens. I'd need a whole food storage full of them for every time we go out in public.

Queen Elizabeth said...

I'll take a case when you discovery/invent them!

Adrienne said...

Sign me up!! Who knew you could experience such extreme emotions, on totally opposite ends of the spectrum?!?!?

Cynthia said...

I've worried for years about getting hauled off to mom jail. Now I find out there's a mother's hell??? May the epi-pen save us all.

Jordan & Lindsey Ohlson said...

Sometimes when I get really mad I like to sing the Joy School Song.

Julia said...

I so need one, or 200, to last until they mature, you know. The constant lovely lovey feeling starts to go for me around the age of 2. So, I'm currently in need of this wonderful product.

Kiera said...

I totally need lots of those pens right now. It is so wonderful to know that I am not the only mom who feels like that! I have looked at Andrew and been like you are so sweet now and soon you will be testing my patience just like your sister!

tiger lamb girl said...

I coulda used one of those epi-pens a few weeks ago when I had reluctant visions of teenager-acide.

Leisha said...

I'm totally one up on you...it's called Dr. Pepper and chocolate! Wait for the endorphins and caffeine to kick in and voila! Calm/love in a bottle (and..a wrapper.)

Jen said...

I thought mother hell was that room in my house where I have to hide when my temper rises at too many screaming misbehaving toddlers, and the screaming doesn't stop even though I shut myself in there. I definitely need one of those pens.

ajhcreative said...

Could have used that one when Jaden wrote on the wall the other night. I'll buy them in bulk!!!

ajhcreative said...

Could have used that one when Jaden wrote on the wall the other night. I'll buy them in bulk!!!

Lippy said...

*sigh*
Someone told me when it comes to raising kids, the first 100 years are the hardest. I'm down to about 83 years on that one.

Now if only jet-black walls would come into vogue. That would eliminate at least the magic-marker problem (for the walls, anyway!)

A M Y said...

This is my life story!