Wednesday, February 6, 2008

A Charmed Life

I have so many fabulous qualities, it's hard to believe that there's anything Rhett doesn't love about me. I mean, really. Who doesn't love to come home to a woman who didn't shower that day? Who doesn't love to eat the cooking of a woman whose cooking accomplishments include boxed macaroni and cheese and top ramen? What's not to love?

So I'm always a little put out when Rhett expresses a desire for me to watch a scary movie with him. Because, I don't do scary movies. Ever. I think most of you might be surprised about what I classify as scary, too. Pretty much anything that has even one ounce of suspense is considered scary. Harry Potter? Too scary for me, thanks. Lord of the Rings? Gave me nightmares. The Sixth Sense? It's STILL giving me nightmares, thank you very much, and I even made Rhett tell me when there were going to be ghosts so I could turn my head.

Rhett shouldn't have been surprised when he came home late from school a couple of years ago and found me asleep on my bed with every light in the house on except for my bedroom light. Bathroom? Lighted. Closet? Lighted. Hallway? Lighted. As an extra precaution, I had even pulled Veevs in from her room to sleep with me.

"Heids, what's going on?" his gesture clearly included the turned on lights and the baby sleeping peacefully in my convulsively grasping arms.

"Um." I said sheepishly. "I saw something scary on TV and I got scared."

Rhett laughed, because that's what he does, people. He laughs at my pain. "Oh. What did you watch?"


"I'm sorry? You seem to be mumbling."

"Oh, fine. I watched Charmed, okay?"

Rhett laughed again, and the baby stirred in my arms. "Like Charmed, that really cheesy show with the three sisters who are witches and have to destroy demons? Like Charmed, with possibly the worst special effects ever? THAT Charmed?"

I shot him a withering look. Some people just don't understand what a burden it is to be so sensitive. And just for the record? It was that Charmed. I still can't watch it.


Anonymous said...

Man am I glad to find out I'm not the only one! Wanna know a movie that scares me, always has, always will? "Arsenic and Old Lace". Yeah, pretty sure it's labled as a comedy, but it freaks me out!!! The creepy brother, yikes! Everyone makes fun of me for being scared of it. Glad to know I'm in good company!

Valerie said...

I'm with you on scary movies...although probably not to the same degree. You bring a new definition to "scary."

Melissa Bastow said...

Ha - I too have slept with all the lights on before....more than adulthood. I even called 911 once while I was staying in someone else's house because "I heard a thump." It was scary, ok? And cops need comic relief sometimes, right?

TnD said...

I just stumbled onto you blog from a friend of a friend and thought I would say how funny/quirky your posts are. Great writing. I enjoyed getting to know you for a few moments and definitely can relate to the neighbor peeping.

Charlie said...

I don't do scary movies either. Life is scary enough. I'd rather have a good laugh.

Amy said...

I am so with ya on this one...100%
I can't watch suspense films or scary and sometimes I even have to turn off the news! Too many scary people they focus on in the world...I mean after that last guy that went through neighborhoods and shot a woman for just answering her door...I took off the wreath from my door and always check the peep hole before answering! jessh I got it bad....good luck with that!
scardy cat!

Jill said...

One night when I was a teenager, I couldn't sleep, so I got up and started watching TV. I accidently started watching "the shining" I was too scared to get off the couch and turn it off, so I watched the whole thing.
I didn't sleep for a week.

monkie mama said...

LOL! So, being the voracious reader you are, does the same go for books? Or is it just the visual media that wigs you out?

Jen said...

I hate scary movies, too. Two of my brothers-in-law are still on the not-allowed-to-pick-the-movie list for bringing home White Noise, which left me shivering and sucking my thumb and unable to watch TV or listen to the radio or sleep peacefully for several days.

Celia and Scott said...

Heidi, thanks for your latest comment. We must stick together.

Speaking of sticking together -- scary movies. What about Watcher in the Woods? That movie gave me the worst case of heebie-jeebies imaginable. I think I still have nightmares about it.

Leisha said...

I'm like that too. If I stay up late by myself (which is when all the terrifying commercials for scary movies come on) I have to hold the remote control "just in case" so I can mute the scary commercial and avert my eyes until it's done. Seriously, one commercial has kept me from using our peephole on the door for over a year!